they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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