mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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