Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
