Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
