im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm too high and old for this...
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