I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
