Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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