You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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