we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
