Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I could fuck to npr.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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