She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize