i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
