Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He has the fingertips of a God
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
