then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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