I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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