This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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