Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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