Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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