it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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