Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize