What did we do last night that was yellow?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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