Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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