I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
