I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
