Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
