Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
50% drunk capacity currently
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
