I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
