Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
