Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
