Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just found puke in my bra..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
