my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I FOUND THE LEGS
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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