They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
