Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
