I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
