i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
