Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize