rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
