just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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