She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
