You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize