if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
