i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize