I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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