Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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