Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
