She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
