I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
