Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
