I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
