Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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