Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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