I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
