i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
