Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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